Vampire for Hire

Am reading – and enjoying enough to post this! – J.R.Rain’s novel Moon Dance – Vampire for Hire – apparently the first of a promised series.

I was having trouble picturing Samantha Moon, the aptly-named heroine, then came across her describing herself (it is first person narrative and viewpoint throughout) as squatting on top of the wall “like an oversized – albeit cute – frog”. Now doesn’t that ring a bell?

Oh, and I came across a mermaid quote I rather liked. “The fountaim was of a mermaid spouting water. She easily had double-D breasts, which were probably a distinct disadvantage for real mermaids.” Something to think about.

You can find out all about the book here. And it’s available on Kindle.

TG Captions 2

Here’s another one I particularly like – perhaps because the setting is so medieval. It could come straight out of THE CHATELAINE.

The Singer rather than The Song 2: Mylène Farmer

A great favourite of mine!

 

 

 

 

 

Here she is doing a big show

And here she is, all alone and taking her clothes off slowly one by one in true French style

And here she is as a mermaid! How could I resist that?

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT

One-time super-model Geena Davis is super-sexy as amnesiac Samantha, the cute New England small-town home-maker and school-teacher making the switch to indestructible killer bitch, Charly Baltimore, her previous self. Both Hal (Tom Amandes), her small-town husband, and Mitch (Samuel L. Jackson), the street-wise private eye she teams up with, have to adjust to this change. Hal less so. He is simply shocked. But Mitch has to live with it 24/7 while they are on the run from the CIA together. “I liked Samantha,” he says at one point, shocked too. Yes, but he is falling in love with Charly.

For Charly is something of a superhero. Indestructible, as I say. And able to hold her breath for five minutes underwater (which reminds me of my previous post!) tied to a wheel in ice-cold temperatures – and after three immersions come up and kill the man who is doing this to her.

I remembered it from years ago. When I watched the DVD last night, I was particularly struck by one minor but it its own way stunning example of the contrast between Samantha and Charly, a modern and ultra-feminine Jekyll and Hyde.

Samantha 

It is the scene with the neighbourhood fat boy who is in the class she teaches at school.Early in the film she catches him smoking, speaks to him kindly, tells him smoking is harmful to his health. Later, sneaking into the town gun in hand to pick up something she needs, she catches him smoking, says, “What did I tell you about the dangers of smoking? Give me that,” takes two deep drags, passes it back to him, says “If you tell anybody you saw me here I’ll blow your head off,” and strides away. We watch the terrified kid piss himself.

Charly

Such details are the mark of a great screenplay (by Shane Black) as is the climax – one of the most dramatic climaxes I have ever seen in the cinema (don’t watch it if you have a dodgy heart) and the way that in the end she manages to integrate the two sides of her personality. Result: the perfect woman – as you see her on the farm at the end in this video clip.

THE CHATELAINE

My novel THE CHATELAINE Book I: Enchantment is now avaiable here from Amazon Kindle. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I am now starting out on THE CHATELAINE Book II: Woman which I will post serial form, chapter by chapter, at Short-Fiction.co.uk until it is also ready to be published as a book.

Gilbride throws a little light on Dark Age Britain.

• Was Cinderella really a boy? No. I am happy to say that that was just a malicious rumour put about by Morgan le Fay and backed up by a rather nasty spell.
• Was King Arthur the rightful owner of Camelot, the castle and the alnds surrounding it? No. That would be Sir Hugue Cumalot, whose own father had been dispossessed of Cumalot by King Arthur’s father for no better reason than that he fancied the place.
• Did Sir Hugue Cumalot have a son to inherit his title, the Cumalot? No. His only child was a daughter until Morgan le Fay – but see the first item in this list.
• Did King Arthur have a son to inherit his title? No. He had a nephew called Modred, whose mother, Morgan le Fay – yes, her again – claimed that the boy had been got on her by her half-brother, King Arthur. So perhaps that should be Yes. Perhaps not, though. Why would anyone ever believe Morgan le Fay?
• Was there really a revirgination machine at the Castle of Maidens? Well, it was actually a fountain, the Fountain of Revirgination, but – Yes – it worked, as long as the girl had fasted for 48 hours and been thoroughly cleansed inside and out prior to being immersed.
• Were there really ever such things as water-nymphs in the rivers and lakes of Britain? Yes. And mermaids all around the coasts and witches in the villages and wizards in the forests and brave knights who rode out in quest of damsels in distress. (Not to mention shape-shifters and lamiae and succubi and incubi, and nuns and priests, some prurient, some puritanical, and other fanatical followers of the new religion.) BUT READ ALL ABOUT IT IN -

 

A “Real” Mermaid

I’ve had some people saying that Millie – in my book Carnival – could not possibly hold her breath for five, six minutes or more while under water being a mermaid. That in fact the whole mermaid thing was a bit fantastic. (As though the rest of the book wasn’t!)

Let me introduce you to Mermaid Melissa.

She apparently holds her breath under water for five minutes or so, no problem. And she wasn’t brought up as a mer like Millie was.

You can find out all about the adorable Mermaid Melissa on YouTube. Start with this one:

Or find her at HireAMermaid.com

TG Captions 1

I love these TG captions, don’t you? This one’s a favourite of mine:

And while I’m at it, can I recommend Amanda Hawkins’ short stories – you can find them on Yahoo Groups at Amanda’s Reading Room. I mention it here because two of her latest, and very funny, stories  take TG captions as their theme.

WENDY

If you like TG fantasy with a taste of the sea and of mermaids and just a dash of spanking, try my short story WENDY.

You can find it here, at Short-Fiction.co.uk

Aishling Morgan’s novel DEEP BLUE

Aishling Morgan is an extremely versatile (and prolific!) writer of literary erotica, and a great favourite of mine. Her (or should that be his? I don’t think so) novels are set in a range of different times and places and over the years I have read most of them, but the two that stand out in my mind are Deep Blue and Purity. I’ll come back to Purity another day.

Deep Blue is set in a seaside resort in the south-west of England. It is summer. The weather is fine and the town is full of visitors, there simply for the sun and the sea. But the hill overlooking the town is an archaeological site, a barrow reputed to be the temple of an ancient octopus god, the Celtic “Sigodin-Yth”, pre-Celtic “Txcalin”. This of course attracts a quite different type of visitor, such as the group of academics, professional archaeologists, there to reopen the barrow for the first time in more than a hundred years, and the “new-age weirdos” intoxicated by the octopus god mythology (among other things) who plan to have a great party on the hill.

Nothing special there, just a nice setting.

However, the dramatis personae are something special, and include, roughly in order of appearance, a peeping-tom named Joe, with whom the book opens and – as it happens – closes; a shop-keeper called Mr Hobbers, who dreams of spanking girls’ bottoms; a strange girl with bright green eyes called Tammy, oddly old-fashioned in her way of speaking and in some of her attitudes, not at all old-fashioned in the way she dresses and behaves; two sadistic uniformed bullies, one of them, Ed, a customs officer, the other a policeman; Lily, a young archaeologist with a submissive soul and masochistic body; Nich, the charismatic leader of a group of pagans; Violet and Yasmin, tattooed, pierced and gorgeous new-agers who are, predictably, devotees of Nich, both in and out of bed; and two other green-eyed beauties like old-fashioned Tammy: playful – and spiteful – little Elune, and stately Juliana.

In this book everyone’s dreams come true, be they fantasies or nightmares, for beneath its veneer of respectability the town is a seething riot of sex . Perhaps that is the norm in a quiet little English seaside town (or a Welsh one come to that – have another look at Dylan Thomas’ Under Milk Wood). Or do the weird dreams that some of the girls like Lily and Violet are having, and the presence of Tammy, Elune and Juliana in the town at just this time, point to something other, something totally out of this world we think we know so well?

Read this book and you will never be able to visit a small seaside town again without remembering it and looking twice at the men and women who pass you in the High Street and along the Promenade, and three times – or more – at girls who come up out of the sea where no girl went in. 

The Singer rather than The Song 1: Mariah Carey

I was watching this clip on YouTube and spotted the comment “Mariah is such a slut”. Scrolled a bit, found “SLUT” and, in Spanish, “en este video mariah carey parece puta”. Watched it from the beginning again. Looked at some other Mariah clips and images. Looked up “slut” in my dictionary: 1. dirty, slatternly woman; 2. immoral woman.

The first definition is nonsense, of course.

The  second  is the original and comes from the 14th century. And yes, I suspect that if Mariah had been around in medieval times (perhaps she was in a previous life!) she would have made a great courtesan. Which is a polite word for slut. Or puta in Spanish. Which is my kind of woman. Or person.

Who decides what is moral and immoral anyway? The Church?! The Imams?!

Here are couple of the images I found – really sluttish and my favourites.

Happy Christmas, Mariah! I love you!